Sunday, September 18, 2016

Babygirl Hair Meme of the Week

another hair meme....

These make good points but they do it at the expense of others. This young lady has not made it clear what she wants and i’m glad that her face is not shown. However, it is trying to show that this woman, stemming from her own ignorance, would rather stay relaxed with hair that looks chewed up and unhealthy.

But honestly, it’s fear. Fear that many of these women have. They have never learned how to deal with their natural textures. Honestly, if the woman is not prepared to handle her texture, she’ll make things worse. She needs to educate herself on her hair texture and learn what she likes first. Then she can make choices based on that to promote healthier hair for herself. But it could work out to be a disaster if she just started chopping on her head without a game plan.

Sunday, September 11, 2016

BabyGirl Hair Meme of the Week

Yes. It happens to all good women that wear a weave. People assume that because you are wearing one that you NEED weave and have NO hair. So its ridiculous. White and Hispanic women wear weaves all the time and people assume that they don’t have hair...

Well how do you think many of these women have long hair/? Because they take great care of it and they make sure that they protect it, putting it away. Not all, but some. Sometimes, the best way to get your hair to grow is to leave it alone.

Happy Birthday to me!

Tuesday, September 6, 2016

Tommy Sotomayor, Weaves, Black Women, and Why He’s So Wrong

 Should Black Men Stop Procreating With Black Women Because of Their Weaves?

“We Need Our Weave! We need our weave!!!”

Tommy Sotomayor...Mr. Controversy made a video about this subject. He is known for his views on a lot of things, mostly Black women, politics, and the state of Black America as HE sees things. Not necessarily from a truth perspective but largely from an editorial or opinionated view.

This statement was placed on a loop and played a few times. It was taken from a video that taken place right after the Milwaukee riots. It was the sister of the deceased Black man who was killed by the police there. She was stating this because she was upset that the beauty supply was burned down. She also expressed concern for other businesses that were burned down too, but that part was left out of the video. I guess it didn’t fit the narrative that Mr. Sotomayor was trying to make.

Notice how he uses the images of Black women that are negative. In this video thumbnail, we don’t know why this woman’s hair is the way that it is, but anything to continue to embarrass Black women.

Not sure why Black women are such a target of his videos nor do I care to discuss that. I want to discuss the statements that he made in this particular video and why I find them incredibly offensive and wrong.

He states that it should be a “Crime to procreate with a black woman” because she wears weave and must be ashamed of her own hair. It’s absolutely ridiculous. He had video of Black women after Hurricane Katrina going through sewer water to get weave. So because some ignorant people decided to do that, is it representative of all Black women? Does that represent all Black women that wear weave? Just because THOSE women decided to make that move?


Why Wear Weaves? The Myth That We Need Weaves or that All Black Women Wear Them

Women wear weaves for a variety of reasons. Some like protective styling. Others like length and fullness. Some of them don’t know how to handle their hair. A small fraction of women I would assume actually “hate their hair” but not themselves.  That would be ridiculous on its face. To say that because someone hated or disliked something about themselves would be tantamount to hating themselves. I guess that means everyone that went for plastic surgery, including the White women, that he puts on a pedestal, has some soul searching to do.

There is also this myth that Black women HAVE to wear weave. Again, nonsense. It’s not a necessity. It’s a WANT.  I don’t have to wear weaves, but I love wearing them just as much as I love shoes and accessories. It’s not something that I need. To be framed in that manner is just dishonest. There are millions of Black women that have never worn a weave in their life. My mother is one of those women. She does not like them. My niece is another. There are tons that won’t let a weave near them, so why are they lumped in with every Black woman that chooses to wear them?

All Black women should not be lumped together just because SOME Black women jumped in a sewer to get some weave. It doesn’t show the desperation of all Black women to get weave. He merely showed THESE WOMEN and the desperation to get weave.

With the quality of weaves improving over the years, it is an expensive commodity. He said himself it’s a million dollar business. Well, it’s actually a billion dollar business. Many people would wade through sewer water to retrieve a billion dollars if it were under there. These Black women aren’t any different.

Then he makes fun of the fact that Black women don’t love their hair. Why would they love it if all they wanted to do was cover it up? He doesn’t get the irony of his own statement. OF COURSE THEY LOVE THEIR HAIR. THAT’S WHY THEY ARE COVERING IT UP. If I want to “protect” my own hair, then of course I must love it. It’s not an excuse, it is the truth. Protective styles are important to Black hair. Constant styling breaks it off. Mr. Sotomayor should know this.  Many Black women have hair down their backs, thanks to protective styling. I’m one of those women. My daughter is as well. Many Black women do this. He made some ridiculous analogy about protecting another girl that made no sense, whatsoever. The proof is in the pudding. He can put up the same tired pictures of Black women with no hair. But the fact of the matter is that there are many more that have long beautiful hair. Thanks to the protective styling that Black women have used to make sure their tresses stay beautiful.

Do Black Men Like Natural Hairstyles?

He also states that Black men love natural hair, however, they prefer the women with the long weaves over natural styles ANY DAY. I’ve seen polls of Black men that stated they preferred long weaves than natural hair. I’ve even seen Black men make fun of women for natural hair, mind you as they laugh, they sport their OWN NATURAL HAIR. More Black men tearing down their own women, as evident in this video. However, every time they will go for the woman with the weave versus the woman that sports her lovely curls.

Why is this? As a natural and a weave wearer, the difference is obvious. I got ten times the attention when I wore my long weave versus sporting an afro puff. Black men didn’t want to talk to me then. Curiously enough, WHITE MEN were attracted to me more when I wore my natural hair. My ASIAN fiancee loves my natural hair. Well since he’s a real man, he loves me regardless. He doesn’t fuss about my hair. He knows that I have long and beautiful hair underneath my weaves. As long as I’m healthy, take great care of him, love him, and enjoy each other, that’s all that matters. Men that care about looks and superficial things like hair weaves, STAY AWAY FROM THEM!!

Black women love our hair. We would like our Black men to love us. To not put us down. But he is another Black man in a long list of them that have no problem tearing us down, running to any other race as if we are aliens or something. We are all apart of the human race, but that’s just nonsense to these people. Let’s ignore the fact that women of all races can have bad hygiene. Hey, let’s even ignore that White women wear extensions and wigs nearly as much as WE DO! Because when a White woman has long hair, we assume that she’s wearing her own natural hair. When a Black woman has long hair, it’s a weave until she proves otherwise. Grab the magnifying glass, a DNA test, and Maury Povich while you are at it. She has to prove that its hers while the White, Asian, Native, and Hispanic women get away with their extensions. The Kardashians love a great weave. However, that doesn’t matter. While Mr. Sotomayor is off wanting to procreate with other races, I sure hope they wash their weaves....

Good For Having Sex?

“Keep having sex with them, but don’t have a baby with them!” That is what this man said. A Black woman is good for having sex with but by all means, have a child with a woman that loves her own hair and herself. Yes, Tommy. This is all great self-esteem boosters for Black women, especially those that may have self-esteem problems. By encouraging their men to use them for sex objects instead of someone to love. That’s a great job. Does he have black children who are girls? I surely hope not. What message did he just send? Hopefully you ladies will keep your girls away from his channel. They don’t need to hear negativity. And neither do you.

What he speaks is nonsense. Protecting your hair with a weave is something that all people have done since its invention. People don’t wear wigs and weaves because they hate something about themselves. In order to make that claim about Black women, it would have to be made about anyone who wears them, since they were not invented exclusively for Black women. It’s complete and utter nonsense.

For the millions of Black women that don’t wear weaves, I guess you’re being punished for those that do. For the millions of Black women who wear them and keep them clean, you’re being punished for the minority that don’t. For the millions of Black women that have pride in themselves, you’re being put in a category that you don’t belong in.

Perfect Mate?

For women of other races that hear this nonsense, is this a person you’d want to be with? For a man that thinks so small, would you want to sleep with someone who will readily put a group of women into a box as if we are all the same? As if we all act the same, think the same, and look the same just because we share the same skin color? Would you want to be with someone that can make sweeping generalizations about an entire group of women?  Would you be okay with a man that says it is okay to sleep with a race of women but not procreate with them? Small mindedness. I would hope not. It would not say much about you personally either.

Hatred. It manifests in so many different ways. I’ve dated Black men who had negative things to say about Black women as a whole. “You’re not like them,” they would say. These were men with Black mothers and sisters, but somehow these women were exempt from such caricatures.

Some dark-skinned Black men would be on the school yard making fun of me for having the same features that they had. They never really saw the irony of what they were doing. Why? Perhaps it’s a bit uncomfortable to really show the world that you’re comfortable in your skin. Since they were not, they had to pick on me. When there wasn’t much difference there.

Any man that can put down a woman of his own race is a person that hates himself. How can he love himself?? How can he love anyone else?

“I hate Black hoes and Bitches!” He screams in his videos to the delight of his White and Black male fans. This nonsense is applauded by some but it’s really quizzical behavior on behalf of his Black fans. To racist Whites, he’s doing nothing but confirming the worst of stereotypes. What he fails to realize that in doing so, when they pick apart his daughter, his sister, or his mother, they won’t stop and say, “Oh well that’s Tommy’s family so they are okay.” No. They will see a “Black Hoe” to have sex with and that’s all. When they see his daughter, they’ll try to sleep with her and then leave her.

Oh the contradictions....

Ignorance is Contagious....

In closing, I’d like to say that ignorance is contagious. When you subscribe to this kind of thinking, it closes your mind. There is nothing that I could say that could possibly get him to see the truth. Yes, there are some women out there that are trifling. But notice I didn’t say a race. Why? Because those traits are not endemic to Black women alone.

Watching his channel, you’d think Black women were the spawns of Satan. That’s what ignorance does. When you don’t think for yourself, you have people like this to think for you. He has a ton of fans as well. This contributes to poisonous thinking that is out there in droves, especially during this election cycle. This poison is passed onto our children who have Black mothers but don’t see their beauty. He judges their value on the length of her hair or how light her skin is. They will judge the value of Black women on everything but her character.
It’s a luxury that is not afforded to Black women often. While other women are looked to for their beauty, Black women are expected to be exotic in bed and thats it. That’s all she is worth to this Black man.

To Black women that had to be subjected to this video, and all of the other abuse that we get on a daily basis, keep your head up. You are beautiful. Every single one of you. If some of you think that you need weave to look beautiful, you don’t need someone telling you that you’re only good to fuck. You need someone to show you differently, that’s all. You need someone to tell you that its okay. Not tear you down.

Wearing weaves over the past twenty years was pretty eye-opening for me. I wore short Halle Berry cuts until one day I wanted to try a bob. I put a weave in my hair and loved the style. Then I wore it all long and my BLACK boyfriend loved it so much, he took me right there! When I went outside, the reaction I received increased. I even started modeling. What lesson did that teach me? However, I wasn’t taking care of my hair. I had to learn how to do that. When I did that, my hair flourished. It grew. And what do I do now? Braid it up and put a wig on! Why? Because with my lifestyle, I don’t go many places so there is no need to wear and style my hair daily. So it’s braided and when I go out, I put a nice wig over it. There’s no shame. Because if there was, then why would I care about protecting it? I could just shave it all off (on chemo anyway) and wear a nice expensive lacefront wig! I would not want to throw my hubby’s money away, as Mr. Sotomayor states in his video. As if Black women don’t spend their OWN money for their hair, but that’s another story that we won’t even address. Yet.

Black hair grows just like White hair. It’s retaining length that we have a hard time with, that’s all. Because we know our hair is tough and fragile at the same time, protective styling is the way to go.

“I love White folks”, he said at the end of his video.

We know.—and_she_is_the_black_womans_champion/

Sunday, September 4, 2016

Hair Meme of the Week/Month

aint that the truth?

You know how to do the style. You’re sure you can do it. You went to the BSS and got all the supplies to get it. You’re ready with a Netflix movie. And then...

Bootyhole hair.

This has happened to me many times. Hey it happens ladies.

It happens.

Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Believe It: The Jheri Curl Is Making A Comeback!


disclaimer: these are not verified styles that are jheri curls but just making reference to the curl pattern and not the style these women have. 

Believe it or not, the style is making a comeback.

Stylists all over the country have stated that they’ve had clients asking for the outdated style of the 80s.

It replaced the Afro in the 80s and took the Black community by storm. So many people have stated that when they had this style, their hair grew like weeds! Their hair grew so long and they never retained length like this before.

The hair was kept in a constant state of moisture, which helps Black hair grow and prosper. Even though chemicals are used to straighten then curl the hair, the fact that the hair was always kept moisturized ensured that the hair stayed in great condition.

Many people had Jheri curls and their hair snaked down their backs, until the next thing came along and by 1990, only fools and the brave wore their hair in this style. There were a few, including yours truly. I got rid of mine in 1991 when I came into school wearing a mushroom style.

Ice Cube in the 80s
 Some stylists are revisiting this once popular style. There have been some changes as well. Many stylists are using larger rods instead of the smaller ones. They are also combing the curls out, so that they aren’t so tight or that they aren’t so wet. Some people just want the look without the mess.  Some girls that you think have so called “good hair” just may be wearing a jheri curl instead!

Ever envied your friend with the gorgeous curls? Yeah, well it just could be a jheri curl in disguise, set on large rollers, and without the activator juice. Simple conditioner instead of activator makes this style look great.
Set on larger rods instead of smaller, you could get an updated look with a dated style....
One of the best products you can buy for moisture.

Would you love to wake up and have curls like this? A Jheri curl could do that for you set on larger rollers and brushed out....granted that you have the thickness and length that she does that is. Many of you think that a lace front could do the trick, but actually a Jheri curl would too, if you didn’t mind the chemicals. Your hair kept in a constant state of moisture could allow you to retain the hair style.

Don’t count this style out ladies! It could be an alternative for those that want a more permanent solution to having curls all the time. If you don’t want a Jheri curl, and you want looser curls, you could texture your hair, loosening your curl pattern as well, but there is a trick to that. You have to know right when the texture is right; not too straight but leave the perm on long enough to loosen the curl. That could be a little hard to do and it could result in uneven results all over your head as you attempt to do it. AT least with the Jheri curl, you would wear the rods and that would set a more even pattern all over your head. 

Who knows what the future will bring, especially when it comes to Black hair care. We set many trends and will continue to do so in the future. It’s not yet known if the Jheri curl will dominate again. But one thing is for certain, we will never forget it. We will be telling our children about those days about wearing the greasy yet popular hairstyle, and singing the “Soul Glo” song as they scratch their heads and wonder what the heck is wrong with Mom?

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

The Best Hair Care Item That Will Grow Your Hair Guaranteed!

Two of the biggest stars in the 80s (RIP Michael...) rocked this style during this time and it exploded in popularity with Black people. After rocking Afros in the 60s and 70s, Black people were looking for new ways to express themselves with their hair. They got the Jheri Curl. Invented by a White man, but made more accessible by a Black man who recently passed away a few years ago. 

The Jheri Curl is a chemical that is placed on the hair like a relaxer and then set on curl rods. It must be kept in a constant state of moisture which is why we use the activator to keep it curly, shiny and good looking. Otherwise, it would get dry. The user also had to sleep in a plastic bag to keep it looking moist in the morning. It was a bit on the high maintenance side. 

But there was another upside. Many people experienced explosive growth with this style.
Think about it. Girls today use the baggy method. They use their favorite moisture product on their ends and baggy them to care for them. Well, imagine that done on your entire head. Black people hair grew long and they were loving this style. 

Unfortunately by 1990, if you still had this style, you were ridiculed. However, now the style is making a comeback. Don’t believe me? Go to salons around the country and stylists will tell you that this is happening again! Women are privately getting this done. The difference? They wear it dryer so that it is not so obvious and brush the curls out more. They also set their hair on LARGER rollers so it looks different. 

But if you don’t want the chemical then go for the activator! I use this in my hair and it is wonderful. It is really the only thing I use nowadays. S-Curl. 

My Regimen:

1. Wash and condition hair. Deep condition!! Clarify when needed.
2. Braid hair and liberally spray S-Curl on braids three times a week..
3. Wash hair once or twice a week while putting a wig or lace front on. 
4. Clarify on wash day and repeat.
5. When Ready to wear natural hair and straighten, then I wash it, using as little product as possible and wear my hair. 
After this, you can see that your hair will grow like crazy!

It needs moisture when you’re natural and S-Curl is a great moisture product for natural hair. I sprayed it liberally in my hair today and braided it up. I will continue to spray it on my hair every other day or when needed. I don’t want it to be too full of product with gunk all over it. 

So it actually feels great and doesn’t have that bad smell to it. I just keep it under wraps, braided, and out of the way. Then I surprise myself when I do reveals! I will do a Christmas Reveal for this year and that will be in the next four months. Hopefully I will gain another two inches! And then I’ll do another Summer reveal next August. 

The key is just leaving your hair alone!! Putting it away, and keeping it moisturized really. Then washing it when you can and going about your business. I try to forget I have hair sometimes so I don’t play in it. That causes breakage. I do my protein treatments every six weeks. I clarify and then add S-Curl in it. It’s really simple and my hair loves me for it.
Me in December 2007

Me now in 2016! Getting longer and longer when I decided to leave my hair ALONE. Do the minimum. Black girls don’t have to do magic tricks to get our hair to grow. We just have to let nature take its course. So throw out all those products. Just pick up S-Curl or your favorite moisture product and let it go...or should I say Grow?

Saturday, August 20, 2016

Rio Olympics: A Look At The Hairstyles Of These Amazing Black Female Athletes

Dominating the news cycle, was not just highlights of Black women and their accomplishments, but also highlights of the hairstyles that many Black women wore while competing for their spot in history. One athlete took center stage, gymnast Gabby Douglas. I spoke about this situation in 2012 when she competed in 2012, and now it seems that this hair ‘thing’ won’t go away for this accomplished athlete. Let’s take a look at their hair...

Simone Biles

Simone Biles is the sweetheart of this Olympics. Showing that Black girls have a certain magic that can’t be denied. She choses to wear her perhaps relaxed hair in a ponytail, away from her face, with her signature braid in the front. Tied with a ribbon. Cute!

Simone Manuel

She looks to have relaxed but highly texturized hair. Because she is a swimmer, I assume wash and go’s are probably the best for her. Whatever she’s doing, she looks great. She has a nice length and fullness that allows for great versatility in styling choices. Swimming can be awfully harsh on Black hair but she’s doing something right! In a sport where your hair is always wet, air drying is the best way to go as again, she looks as if she’s rocking a relaxer. As long as it’s healthy! She looks awesome! She was the first Black woman from any country to win a gold medal in swimming. She’s the only Black woman in the world past or present that can claim that. 

Good job Simone.

Michelle Carter
This shot put Queen brought home Gold for Team USA! She wears her hair in a variety of styles but I’m going to assume she’s natural here by this photo alone. Tied back like the queen that she is, I’ve seen her rock braids and even straight hair. 

This is English Gardner! She is with the US Track Team for team USA! She is one of the fastest runners and helped Team USA win gold in the 4X100 relay race!
It looks as if she prefers long long long hair and we don’t blame her. Whether or not she uses extensions to get that length is not important to us here. What counts, is style and she has plenty of it. Along with a brain and a body! English is one of my favorites for those reasons.

Alyson Felix
Is this Beyonce of Alyson Felix? It’s Alyson. One of the fastest women in the World. She broke records in Rio this year and is a style icon in her own right. Whether or not she is rocking braids or her signature ponytail, what counts is her speed! She is beautiful, talented, and oh so fast! Her natural hair looks quite long and it’s possible that she has a relaxer. But nevertheless, she’s an awesome athlete!

Tori Bowie

Meet Tori Bowie! Another fast woman representing Team USA for Track and Field. She’s also won a gold medal! She can wear extensions, braids, or her own natural hair. It looks as if she does have a relaxer but her hair looks healthy and her style fierce. You don’t want to have to race this woman! She’ll win every single time!

Gabby Douglas
Easily one of the best gymnasts of all time, this little woman has had to weather unfair criticism where other athletes don’t. Her edges and patriotism have been put into question. She’s a beautiful woman and it’s clear that she’s natural. In a sport where athleticism is key, it’s not always easy to keep your edges as slick as you’d like them. She’s rocked a variety of styles from weaves to her natural hair. Who cares about that when you’re trying to win gold medals for your country? Take the microscope off of her hair and onto her ability. They don’t call her the “Flying Squirrel” for nothing.

This woman is a major inspiration to all women and that’s all that we should be talking about. Every Black woman with Kinky hair knows what happens when you sweat. So why do we hold her to a higher standard? I guess for some people gold medals aren’t enough to keep them off your back. We love you here Gabby. AS a former gymnast myself, I understand your struggle. Keep on fighting. 

This is Alicia Glass. Team USA for VolleyBall. She’s amazing and beautiful! She wears her naturally long hair in ponytails mostly when playing. I’m actually watching her now as I write this and I’m in love with her lovely locks. She’s talented and incredibly smart. 

I wished I could have included everyone but here are more pictures of the beautiful sisters that are competing in RIO 2016. Good luck to them all and thank you for your hard work and dedication. That’s what this really is about. Not what is on top of your head. White women don’t have to deal with this scrutiny and yet Black women do. Just one of the many obstacles to overcome in the future. Perhaps they’ll care what we do instead of what we look like when we’re doing what we love to do best.

I’m proud of these women! I’m proud of all of our Olympians! #BlackGirlMagic

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