On A More Personal Note

I've always been skinny.

I never saw myself as skinny but by listening to some of my friends descriptions of me, you would think that I was extremely malnourished.

I never had to do much to stay the size that I was and pretty much ate anything I wanted. No, this isn't a bragging post but this is just my experience.

Now on the other side of 30, I notice that my metabolism has slowed down some and it's starting to catch up with me. Even in 1997 when I gave birth to my first and only child, I only weighed at 138 lbs.

I currently tip the scales at 146lbs at 5'4".

Not bad but not good either. Especially since I've had to have my uniform pants altered twice because I literally split them when I got out the car.

It's not fun when you all you can do is look at the clothes in your closet but you can't put them on because they don't fit anymore.

My size 3/5 jeans don't fit any more and I'm up to a 7 and have resorted to just wearing loose fitting clothes. If it weren't for a few friends of mine donating some jeans that didn't fit them anymore, I wouldn't have jeans in my wardrobe at all.

Gaining weight represents losing control for me and a lot of women out there whether it's 6 lbs or 60lbs.

I found myself actually resorting to food to make me feel better and not really giving a rat's ass about my weight anymore.

While further slumping into a depression.

I decided to break out my Wii Fitness again and I've been working out for the past few days. I know it will take some time and watching the calories that I consume, but I'll be that size 4 again. Not putting a timeline on anything but working out makes me feel as if I'm back in control again of my life.

I prefer it that way.

Comments

  1. I understand exactly how you're feeling. Most of my life I've been called skinny and people were always saying I needed to gain weight. Then when I hit my 30s I finally gained some weight because my metabolism started slowing down, etc. Pretty much the story you're telling, but I had to try to motivate myself and not get depressed. It was really hard for me to feel comfortable with the small amount I've gained because even though it's not a lot it feels different on my body. I've been really trying to make a conscious effort though to exercise and just be fit~that's what I feel is really important to me. Sorry didn't mean to write a book, but you were feeling how I was at one point. Be blessed :-)

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  2. Thank you for your kind words Blessed Tresses. I was hoping I wasnt coming off like I'm whining about nothing. I just really needed to express how I felt and its nice to know that I'm not alone.

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  3. You're welcome and you didn't come across like that at all. I wish you many blessings!

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  4. This sounds exactly like me! Im 29 and have moved from a size 3 at age 23 (postbaby)to a size 7 (that is getting tighter by the day BTW)now It is very frustrating bcuz most of my adult life I was a between a size 1-3 and now i feel like an alien in my own body :-|
    I Know i am by no means "fat" but still its taking some getting used to

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