Black Men and Natural Hair? Why Not?
WHICH DO YOU PREFER?________________________
As long as your locks are hanging past your shoulders, he seems to be pleased. I mean why not? Most men of any race, studies show, desire women with long locks rather than short hair.
SOME Black men have been highly critical of Black women when it comes to being FAKE. They talk about us for wearing weaves while sometimes leaving out the fact that other races embrace them as well. I mean Chris Rock did a movie about it for goodness sakes, making a lot of Black women angry.
But when approached by a sister wearing her natural curly locks, SOME frown their noses up. OTHERS just aren't that interested. They would rather pursue the woman with the straight weave hanging down her back. I know. I've been on both sides of the fence.
I have experienced this on a regular basis. When I wore my natural hair in a beautiful afro puff or wore a nice twistout, there were NO takers at all!!! It didn't matter where I was. Men just weren't breaking their necks to say hello to me. I've been ENCOURAGED by SOME black men to wear a straight long weave versus wearing my natural little afro puff. It led me to feel ashamed at one point of my life...a point in my life where I was depressed. I felt like I wouldn't be accepted unless I gave in and wore the weaves or straightened my hair. I know I am not alone.
When I sport a long straight lacefront, with hair hanging well past my shoulders, I had to beat them off of me with a stick. Men like to run their fingers through your hair...EFFORTLESSLY. It's just what some of them prefer, regardless of them pumping their fists shouting, "Power to the People" or what have you.
It's just not men. My daughter is natural and she has the same issues at schools. She says that all the black boys in her school go for the Hispanic or even white girls because of the conditioning they received about What is Pretty? On days that she wears her natural curls, insults are hurled throughout the hallways by both boys AND girls. "Go perm your hair!" "Why didn't you comb your hair?" "Did you stick your finger in a socket?" She told me that besides herself, there are only a few natural Black girls in her school. One of them, wears her hair natural ALL THE TIME. Only one. She protects her hair with sew ins that I install. They have allowed her hair to grow past her shoulders and she is excited about her length.
But what gives? OF COURSE there are men out there that prefer natural hair. There are men out there that really don't care. They state that it's just hair! But a majority of men prefer straight and long. Or wavy and long. When they think of curly hair, images of TLC's Chilli comes to mind.
I brought this up to several black men and while many said they preferred natural women, but when showed pictures of what was more beautiful, they chose the woman with the straight long hair.
I've also been singled out by a few jerks, telling me that I need to get a perm while THEY SPORTED THEIR OWN NATURAL HAIR. It doesn't make sense. Why do SOME men think it is okay for them to make comments about straightening our hair when they regularly sport afros, twists, braids, and dreadlocks? It actually baffles me at times.
Granted, I am engaged to a Filipino man who states that he just doesn't care how my hair is. Recently, he did admit that he preferred my wigs just slightly over my own natural hair. Even though he says that he doesn't mind, I haven't worn my natural hair (also due to a medical condition) in a long time. When I did wear my hair, I straightened it out and put it in a ponytail. Nice, huh?
SO which is it Black men? I know that many have a preference, but sometimes it seems that we as a people prefer attributes that are not really common among black people (i.e. blue eyes, gray eyes, lighter-whiter skin, etc.) True, one could make the argument that every race. Whites tan, Asian get surgery for their eye shape, Indians prefer lighter skin, Blacks lighten skin and/or straighten/lengthen their hair, etc.
The grass is always greener, right?