Tommy Sotomayor, Weaves, Black Women, and Why He’s So Wrong

 Should Black Men Stop Procreating With Black Women Because of Their Weaves?

“We Need Our Weave! We need our weave!!!”

Tommy Sotomayor...Mr. Controversy made a video about this subject. He is known for his views on a lot of things, mostly Black women, politics, and the state of Black America as HE sees things. Not necessarily from a truth perspective but largely from an editorial or opinionated view.

This statement was placed on a loop and played a few times. It was taken from a video that taken place right after the Milwaukee riots. It was the sister of the deceased Black man who was killed by the police there. She was stating this because she was upset that the beauty supply was burned down. She also expressed concern for other businesses that were burned down too, but that part was left out of the video. I guess it didn’t fit the narrative that Mr. Sotomayor was trying to make.

Notice how he uses the images of Black women that are negative. In this video thumbnail, we don’t know why this woman’s hair is the way that it is, but anything to continue to embarrass Black women.

Not sure why Black women are such a target of his videos nor do I care to discuss that. I want to discuss the statements that he made in this particular video and why I find them incredibly offensive and wrong.

He states that it should be a “Crime to procreate with a black woman” because she wears weave and must be ashamed of her own hair. It’s absolutely ridiculous. He had video of Black women after Hurricane Katrina going through sewer water to get weave. So because some ignorant people decided to do that, is it representative of all Black women? Does that represent all Black women that wear weave? Just because THOSE women decided to make that move?

Ridiculous.

Why Wear Weaves? The Myth That We Need Weaves or that All Black Women Wear Them

Women wear weaves for a variety of reasons. Some like protective styling. Others like length and fullness. Some of them don’t know how to handle their hair. A small fraction of women I would assume actually “hate their hair” but not themselves.  That would be ridiculous on its face. To say that because someone hated or disliked something about themselves would be tantamount to hating themselves. I guess that means everyone that went for plastic surgery, including the White women, that he puts on a pedestal, has some soul searching to do.

There is also this myth that Black women HAVE to wear weave. Again, nonsense. It’s not a necessity. It’s a WANT.  I don’t have to wear weaves, but I love wearing them just as much as I love shoes and accessories. It’s not something that I need. To be framed in that manner is just dishonest. There are millions of Black women that have never worn a weave in their life. My mother is one of those women. She does not like them. My niece is another. There are tons that won’t let a weave near them, so why are they lumped in with every Black woman that chooses to wear them?

All Black women should not be lumped together just because SOME Black women jumped in a sewer to get some weave. It doesn’t show the desperation of all Black women to get weave. He merely showed THESE WOMEN and the desperation to get weave.

With the quality of weaves improving over the years, it is an expensive commodity. He said himself it’s a million dollar business. Well, it’s actually a billion dollar business. Many people would wade through sewer water to retrieve a billion dollars if it were under there. These Black women aren’t any different.

Then he makes fun of the fact that Black women don’t love their hair. Why would they love it if all they wanted to do was cover it up? He doesn’t get the irony of his own statement. OF COURSE THEY LOVE THEIR HAIR. THAT’S WHY THEY ARE COVERING IT UP. If I want to “protect” my own hair, then of course I must love it. It’s not an excuse, it is the truth. Protective styles are important to Black hair. Constant styling breaks it off. Mr. Sotomayor should know this.  Many Black women have hair down their backs, thanks to protective styling. I’m one of those women. My daughter is as well. Many Black women do this. He made some ridiculous analogy about protecting another girl that made no sense, whatsoever. The proof is in the pudding. He can put up the same tired pictures of Black women with no hair. But the fact of the matter is that there are many more that have long beautiful hair. Thanks to the protective styling that Black women have used to make sure their tresses stay beautiful.

Do Black Men Like Natural Hairstyles?

He also states that Black men love natural hair, however, they prefer the women with the long weaves over natural styles ANY DAY. I’ve seen polls of Black men that stated they preferred long weaves than natural hair. I’ve even seen Black men make fun of women for natural hair, mind you as they laugh, they sport their OWN NATURAL HAIR. More Black men tearing down their own women, as evident in this video. However, every time they will go for the woman with the weave versus the woman that sports her lovely curls.

Why is this? As a natural and a weave wearer, the difference is obvious. I got ten times the attention when I wore my long weave versus sporting an afro puff. Black men didn’t want to talk to me then. Curiously enough, WHITE MEN were attracted to me more when I wore my natural hair. My ASIAN fiancee loves my natural hair. Well since he’s a real man, he loves me regardless. He doesn’t fuss about my hair. He knows that I have long and beautiful hair underneath my weaves. As long as I’m healthy, take great care of him, love him, and enjoy each other, that’s all that matters. Men that care about looks and superficial things like hair weaves, STAY AWAY FROM THEM!!

Black women love our hair. We would like our Black men to love us. To not put us down. But he is another Black man in a long list of them that have no problem tearing us down, running to any other race as if we are aliens or something. We are all apart of the human race, but that’s just nonsense to these people. Let’s ignore the fact that women of all races can have bad hygiene. Hey, let’s even ignore that White women wear extensions and wigs nearly as much as WE DO! Because when a White woman has long hair, we assume that she’s wearing her own natural hair. When a Black woman has long hair, it’s a weave until she proves otherwise. Grab the magnifying glass, a DNA test, and Maury Povich while you are at it. She has to prove that its hers while the White, Asian, Native, and Hispanic women get away with their extensions. The Kardashians love a great weave. However, that doesn’t matter. While Mr. Sotomayor is off wanting to procreate with other races, I sure hope they wash their weaves....

Good For Having Sex?

“Keep having sex with them, but don’t have a baby with them!” That is what this man said. A Black woman is good for having sex with but by all means, have a child with a woman that loves her own hair and herself. Yes, Tommy. This is all great self-esteem boosters for Black women, especially those that may have self-esteem problems. By encouraging their men to use them for sex objects instead of someone to love. That’s a great job. Does he have black children who are girls? I surely hope not. What message did he just send? Hopefully you ladies will keep your girls away from his channel. They don’t need to hear negativity. And neither do you.

What he speaks is nonsense. Protecting your hair with a weave is something that all people have done since its invention. People don’t wear wigs and weaves because they hate something about themselves. In order to make that claim about Black women, it would have to be made about anyone who wears them, since they were not invented exclusively for Black women. It’s complete and utter nonsense.

For the millions of Black women that don’t wear weaves, I guess you’re being punished for those that do. For the millions of Black women who wear them and keep them clean, you’re being punished for the minority that don’t. For the millions of Black women that have pride in themselves, you’re being put in a category that you don’t belong in.

Perfect Mate?

For women of other races that hear this nonsense, is this a person you’d want to be with? For a man that thinks so small, would you want to sleep with someone who will readily put a group of women into a box as if we are all the same? As if we all act the same, think the same, and look the same just because we share the same skin color? Would you want to be with someone that can make sweeping generalizations about an entire group of women?  Would you be okay with a man that says it is okay to sleep with a race of women but not procreate with them? Small mindedness. I would hope not. It would not say much about you personally either.

Hatred. It manifests in so many different ways. I’ve dated Black men who had negative things to say about Black women as a whole. “You’re not like them,” they would say. These were men with Black mothers and sisters, but somehow these women were exempt from such caricatures.

Some dark-skinned Black men would be on the school yard making fun of me for having the same features that they had. They never really saw the irony of what they were doing. Why? Perhaps it’s a bit uncomfortable to really show the world that you’re comfortable in your skin. Since they were not, they had to pick on me. When there wasn’t much difference there.

Any man that can put down a woman of his own race is a person that hates himself. How can he love himself?? How can he love anyone else?

“I hate Black hoes and Bitches!” He screams in his videos to the delight of his White and Black male fans. This nonsense is applauded by some but it’s really quizzical behavior on behalf of his Black fans. To racist Whites, he’s doing nothing but confirming the worst of stereotypes. What he fails to realize that in doing so, when they pick apart his daughter, his sister, or his mother, they won’t stop and say, “Oh well that’s Tommy’s family so they are okay.” No. They will see a “Black Hoe” to have sex with and that’s all. When they see his daughter, they’ll try to sleep with her and then leave her.

Oh the contradictions....

Ignorance is Contagious....

In closing, I’d like to say that ignorance is contagious. When you subscribe to this kind of thinking, it closes your mind. There is nothing that I could say that could possibly get him to see the truth. Yes, there are some women out there that are trifling. But notice I didn’t say a race. Why? Because those traits are not endemic to Black women alone.

Watching his channel, you’d think Black women were the spawns of Satan. That’s what ignorance does. When you don’t think for yourself, you have people like this to think for you. He has a ton of fans as well. This contributes to poisonous thinking that is out there in droves, especially during this election cycle. This poison is passed onto our children who have Black mothers but don’t see their beauty. He judges their value on the length of her hair or how light her skin is. They will judge the value of Black women on everything but her character.
It’s a luxury that is not afforded to Black women often. While other women are looked to for their beauty, Black women are expected to be exotic in bed and thats it. That’s all she is worth to this Black man.

To Black women that had to be subjected to this video, and all of the other abuse that we get on a daily basis, keep your head up. You are beautiful. Every single one of you. If some of you think that you need weave to look beautiful, you don’t need someone telling you that you’re only good to fuck. You need someone to show you differently, that’s all. You need someone to tell you that its okay. Not tear you down.

Wearing weaves over the past twenty years was pretty eye-opening for me. I wore short Halle Berry cuts until one day I wanted to try a bob. I put a weave in my hair and loved the style. Then I wore it all long and my BLACK boyfriend loved it so much, he took me right there! When I went outside, the reaction I received increased. I even started modeling. What lesson did that teach me? However, I wasn’t taking care of my hair. I had to learn how to do that. When I did that, my hair flourished. It grew. And what do I do now? Braid it up and put a wig on! Why? Because with my lifestyle, I don’t go many places so there is no need to wear and style my hair daily. So it’s braided and when I go out, I put a nice wig over it. There’s no shame. Because if there was, then why would I care about protecting it? I could just shave it all off (on chemo anyway) and wear a nice expensive lacefront wig! I would not want to throw my hubby’s money away, as Mr. Sotomayor states in his video. As if Black women don’t spend their OWN money for their hair, but that’s another story that we won’t even address. Yet.

Black hair grows just like White hair. It’s retaining length that we have a hard time with, that’s all. Because we know our hair is tough and fragile at the same time, protective styling is the way to go.

“I love White folks”, he said at the end of his video.

We know.


http://www.salon.com/2015/07/15/why_serena_williams_is_so_important_the_world_only_has_ugliness_for_black_women—and_she_is_the_black_womans_champion/